women and children first.

dear irish-american college students, stop acting like this is what you do every night.

hellen keller was simultaneously more and less of a woman than you'll ever be.

you have no idea how often this kind of thing happens over on Gliese 581 d

how long is long enough to not make fun of people jumping out of a burning skyscraper?

yeah...mmm...just like salmon...

and someone needs to tell old man stevens to stop giving all the children dead babies. dead babies and apples with razor blades.

bonus: if you can name every one of those candies, youre a fat fuck

working out used to suck.

its not sexism if im a woman. luckily im not. man, how much would that suck

if i had a list of all the things they didnt teach you in elementary school...

the form right before this one is a mix of oprah and a croissant.

don't slam it before you try it.

why not just skip the middle man and go to a wildlife park and steal a bear cub?*



*dont go to a wildlife park and steal a bear cub.

i could have been freud's star subject.

this...this is just...i'm sorry. i can't really justify this.

historical accuracy only causes pain. horrible pain.